***Dealing with Social Dance Parties***
First, what does Follower mean? In Ballroom dancing there are designations for the 2 dance partners’ roles. The “leader” subtly guides and initiates the steps while the “follower” interprets his signals and performs the suggested movements.
This post today is for Followers, because sometimes we just need a little information for self-care mixed with a little empathy. Listed are some basic Ballroom Social Customs and reminders especially for followers. Suggestions from Linda Springstead, Ballroom dance instructor since 1988.
- FOLLOWER TIP #1 – Most important? MAKE DANCING PLEASANT for both yourself and your partner with preparation.
- FOR SAFETY wear snug dance shoes that will not stick to the floor and jewelry that won’t cause injury.
- To AVOID fashion faux pas, a basic rule of thumb is that the more formal the dance, the more formal the clothing. In all cases a dancer’s comfort is key.
- FRESHEN UP before a dance. Deodorant, body powder on hot days, and bring breath mints.
- SMILE and enjoy the music. And of course, KEEP LEARNING to dance and follow better and better, becoming a favored partner on the dance scene.
- FOLLOWER TIP #2 – THE CUSTOM of dancing no more than 2 consecutive dances per partner allows you to meet and become comfortable with others in attendance and keeps the energy flow of the event positive. Also, it’s customary that the first and last dances of the evening be with the partner you came with. If you’re only comfortable dancing with your partner, especially during covid, that’s okay too. Just try to stay in the spirit of being “social”.
- FOLLOWER TIP #3 – You are ALWAYS WELCOME to ask others to dance. Please don’t feel you need to wait until someone asks you. This especially applies to followers who come with a partner. You may automatically be viewed as unapproachable unless you make the effort repeatedly. If refused, LISTEN to the reason, taking it at face value. It is NOT MEANT TO BE a judgment of yourself as a person.
- FOLLOWER TIP #4 – Ladies choose HOW CLOSE to dance with a partner. However, also pay attention whether your PARTNER is uncomfortable with being too close. In either case use your arms to steadily and gently press yourself away.
- FOLLOWER TIP #5 – OFFER NO ADVICE to a partner while dancing unless asked. Simply dance to your partners ability as much as possible. Do explain to your partner if something is uncomfortable to you, and then either let it go – OR thank the partner and end the dance if necessary.
- FOLLOWER TIP #5.5 – You are NOT REQUIRED to dance a full dance with anyone. If ever feeling discomforted due to too advanced moves, or the speed or force of the “Leader”, REQUEST WHAT YOU NEED. If a Leader cannot comply, then thank them, apologize and excuse yourself to sit down — even in the middle of a dance. If asked why, stand your ground; be honest and explain that you’re not comfortable following their style and choose to stop. If you like, suggest a different kind of dance for later during the evening. ***Please TRY NOT TO DISCOURAGE newer dancers as they work to become tomorrow’s good dancers. If possible, continue dancing with a smile for those making effort to be better. In all cases BE KIND, and make explanation, not attack.
- FOLLOWER TIP #6 – DECLINING A DANCE gracefully means a) you don’t know the dance; b) you need to rest; c) you’ve already promised the dance to someone else; d) you have just danced 2 consecutive dances with that person; or e) you know the person to be repeatedly an inconsiderate dancer, either unsafe or uncomfortable to partner. Depending on the reason remember to be polite and gracious in your response, and to expect politeness and graciousness in return. REPORT any disrespectful issues to the staff.
- FOLLOWER TIP #7 – ASKING FOR AN ESCORT. If uncomfortable when leaving any event unescorted, please request from the staff that someone trusted escort you to your car.
Wow! I really packed it in, and these are just for followers!
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